Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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