i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize