It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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