1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
