BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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