Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize