I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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