I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
