So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
