i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
