At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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