Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
