i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
