I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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