Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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