Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
