found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
