I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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