shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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