We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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