So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
