ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
