I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
