Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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