If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i out mim tonsoeep
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