He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
