Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize