Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
