did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
