Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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