and you said cock pushups were impossible
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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