apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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