so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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