You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
