Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is the high leading the old right now
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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