i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
