I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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