please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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