so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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