I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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