Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
