u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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