Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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