we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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