I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
