I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
