i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
