I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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