My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
