he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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