My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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