great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I smell stomach acid.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
