Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Still dying that you shit outside
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
