oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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