Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
