The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
