Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize